Worksheet Sunday: Japanese Second Grade JHS (12/13yo) Syllabus (New Crown)

This is simply a typed up list of the vocab and important phrases taught in the second volume of New Crown. It's useful to have as a reference of what is learned when when designing worksheets/bingo. There's nothing worse than slipping in a load of words students don't know yet and complicating a simple activity.

It may also be interesting for those of you who want a better idea of the form teaching English takes in Japan.

As usual, click here to view in Google Docs, but you'll want to save a copy.

Getting Gas/Petrol in Japan

Petrol prices vary a lot.

I live in a small city in the mountains, and it's much more expensive to fill your tank here than in other places. The rationale for that is the holes in the mountains. Gas tankers aren't allowed to drive through tunnels because of the potentially devastating results of an accident, so to get to cities like mine they need to do some massive detours. This results in an almost 10% markup. In Tokyo expect to pay around 125-133yen per regular litre right now. Here in Iida you'll pay something like 137-140. High octane is about 10 yen more expensive, and diesel is around 20 yen cheaper (110ish). These figures are liable to change with the economy, but you get the idea.

Still, it pays to shop around. If you look hard you can find petrol for 134ish near here, and if you feel flush you can find it a couple of yen above 140, too. This is arguably due to the quality, however, so consider that before going for the cheapest gas you've ever seen. If possible, get a resident to give you the low-down on local gas stations.

You can also save a few yen with store discount cards, so snap one up if you see them at your local Eneos or Cosmo etc.

However, similarly in the US and UK, whether or not there is a difference at all is up for debate. The general idea with cheap petrol in England, at least, is that it's used to attract customers to what is usually a supermarket. Here, the cheap petrol is from "unnamed" standalone stations (i.e. not the big players like Shell, Eneos etc). There doesn't seem to be any solid proof that anyone's gas is better or worse than anyone elses...

You've probably heard of the Japanese gas station attendants and their ridiculous over-courtesy. It's true, but there are also self-service stands which will save you a couple of yen per litre. Look for the セルフ (serufu) sign.

So, for the cheapest fuel find a city relatively close to a port (at least without mountains in the way) and go self-service.

The Dark Extremes of Japanese Adult Entertainment

For a country often lauded on marks of social sensitivity and public safety, Japan has its share of dark patches. One of the most shocking by Western standards is the porn industry.

Warning:

This post is disgusting. If you don't want to be offended and saddened, you probably shouldn't read it.

Without even considering hentai, Japanese porn has a lot going against it. For a start, Japanese censorship laws dictate that the important bits must be pixelated, which means that you can't quite see why the girl is acting like she's in so much pain.

But despite those harsh restrictions, adult media is very publicly available across the country; nearly every Japanese convenience store has an "Adults Only" section of the magazine rack. And perhaps because of censorship restrictions, the variety of content in the country is never-ending. Unedited depiction of intercourse is illegal, but only in the letter of the law. Imagery of obscene acts involving body fluids, uniforms, costumes, game shows, or even insects, sells in droves. And Japanese people who don't approve of it seem to simply avert their eyes.

The Internet has fostered a similar haven of deviance on a global scale. And yes, it probably out-does Japan every time. But only in Japan does it seem to be granted a physical body. Only here can you walk into a store and see this:

This whole section is titled レイプ, or "rape" to you and me. This type of porn typically makes up about 20% of all porn sales. Try as I might, I've only ever found one shelf of men being raped with strap-ons.

I've heard a lot of people defend Japan's violent sexual media as an outlet for what would otherwise be a rapist or paedophile. And the criminal numbers seem to be in favour of that excuse. UN statistics indicate Japan's rape averages as 1/24th that of the USA and 1/20th the UK's.

Further investigation, however, produces a different explanation: The definition of "what rape is" in Japan is very narrow, and attempted prosecution may lead not only to a rejected case, but to the blame being attributed to the victim (see Sexual Violence and the Law in Japan by Catherine Burns); thanks to a severe gender bias in the legal system. For this reason, it is possible that many more Japanese victims exist who are unwilling to report the crime (though numbers of reports have started to increase since a high-profile serial-gang-rape case made national news.)

The idea that watching rape porn quells the desire for real rape is generally argued to be false. Indeed, how could it be otherwise? Surely a rapists desire isn't just one of observing the mistreatment of a woman, but actively being involved in it. The absurd popularity of this genre only supports the concept of rape being "a fantasy, rather than a crime" for many Japanese men.

Even more disturbing, but very telling of the industry's unrestrained extent, is this section; liable to turn up in many adult shops:

This is lolita porn, not in the "Barely Legal" sense, but featuring real kids. Children.

It flies under the radar because there's no "actual" nudity or abuse. The kids are just provocatively posing or messing around, and the director passes it off as artistic (presumably the intense camel-toe on the girl on the left is just incidental then). But this is for sale. In the porn section.

I don't know what else to say.

Buying a Car in Japan

I've just bought a car. It's a 2005 Nissan Cube. Very Japanese.

If you are living in Japan outside of a big city you will probably need some mode of transport. I just used a bike for the first 18 months in my town, but my girlfriend and I quickly got bored of bumming lifts off people and not being able to take decent day-trips (our city has what is known as "the slowest train in Japan" for a reason).

Long story short, we got there in the end. Here are the steps you must take if you want to buy:


1. Ask your employer if it is okay for you to drive to work, if you intend to.

• Yes, it sounds ridiculous.

2. Get a Japanese or International driving licence if you don't already have one (duh).

• I had no licence at all. Guide to getting a Japanese driving licence from scratch.

3. Find a parking space within a 2km radius of your house.

• You will need to register this with the police and pay for it before you can have your car. Full guide here.

4. Register your hanko/inkan to your gainjin card.

• You need an inkanshoume, or proof of the validity of your inkan, from your employer.This is necessary for buying something as big as a car, but nothing else (other than real-estate) it seems. Guide here.

5. Find a car.

• I used a combination of local dealerships, carsensor.net, and goo-net.com. If you want a specific model you may find yourself looking much further afield than you would back home. In the end I had to drive a 600km round-trip to view and buy my lovely Cube. But if you aren't picky you shouldn't have any problems.
• It's also possible to buy from a previous teacher in your area. Often leaving gaijin will be in a hurry to sell off their belongings and a real bargain can be found. But beware of the potential shaken (MOT) cost (see below)! A regional mailing list is a good place to look for this.
  
• NB: Choosing a car can be tough, made more so by Japanese tax laws. Tax varies depending on the power of your vehicle. Yellow-plate, or K-cars have been designed to fit into the lowest tax bracket. They are cheaper all-round, but at 660cc aren't the best choice if you think you'll do a lot of highway driving.
  
  NB: The price the dealer will initially show you often does not include many taxes and fees. Sometimes it won't even include the shaken. A good rule of thumb is to predict a cost of 200,000 more than the price in the window. Sometimes it's 50,000, sometimes even more than 250,000.

6. Haggle a bit.

• Pretty similar to Western countries. If you're lucky you can knock a few man off the price. Try for updated GPS software if it comes with a machine, and always ask for a full tank of gas. Do this last point when you have virtually agreed to buy. My friend bought a Mazda ZX8 from a reputable dealer which turned up with an empty tank.

NB: PAYING
To pay in installments you will either need a credit card which will allow you to borrow the full amount and pay up front, or a Japanese guarantor. The latter is not easy to come by.

7. Fill out all the paperwork.

• Aside from what you will fill out and stamp at the dealership, they will need your inkanshoume and your parking certification returned to them before you can hope to receive your car.
• Getting the parking certificate sorted will take about a week. From purchase to delivery will be something in the region of 2 weeks depending on how fast you can get your share of the paperwork processed.

8. Vehicle name change and registration.

• The car you're buying will need to be registered under your name, of course. It may also need to be registered to your prefecture if it isn't already. There will be a particular city the car will need to be taken to and dealt with. Try to get this included in the price.

9. Get it delivered.

• This is the easiest option, especially if they are doing the name change etc for you. It can cost 20,000-50,000 or more depending on where the car is coming from, but it's well worth it unless you love paperwork and wasting your time (and holiday days) traveling to one-horse towns.

Things to check on prospective cars:

• Shaken/MOT.
  This is basically a certificate of being road-worthy. All cars must be shakened every 2 years (a new one gets 3 initially). A K-car should be able to pass this for 100-150,000 yen if there are no problems. A white-plate would be more like 150-250,000. You can save a ton of money doing the shaken yourself, but will need a lot of patience and decent Japanese. A future post will cover this process.

• Accident history.
  Vehicles that have previosly had to be repaired will be considerably cheaper, but carry various risks along with that. Who knows how it will hold up in regular use, or what would happen to it in another accident. But hey, if it passed the shaken...

• Mileage.
  Japanese people tend to consider a "high mileage" to be 100,000km, and will usually scrap the vehicle not long after that. Of course, you and I know that 100,000km is no reason to scrap anything, and real bargains can be picked up here. Bear in mind you may have to replace the timing belt (about 50,000yen) at some point.
   
• Kilometres per litre.
  If you can only think in miles per galon then here's a handy converter. Anything over 15 km/l is pretty fair in my book.

Additional costs:

• Annual tax
  I pay around 50,000yen for my 1400cc white plate.

• Parking
  If you don't have a garden or driveway to park in, expect to pay anything from 2,000 to 100,000 per month depending on your location.

• Optional insurance
  Although this is called "optional" it is pretty much essential. If you knock over and kill someone on the road you will have to pay 1.5 million pounds (2.5 million dollars). The compulasory insurance will only pay out a maximum of 3 million yen.
  The price ranges from 70,000yen per year for basic cover on a K-car up to 240,000yen per year for full coverage on a high-class white plate.

• Snow tires
  If, like mine, your prefecture gets a lot of snow you will need to buy snow tires (スタードレスタイアー), or chains. Snow tires should cost around 10,000 each, chains will be less than half that.

• ETC machine
  An ETC machine is a little box which uses your ETC card to automatically pay highway tolls as you drive through the gate. It is much cheaper than not using one. The machine and installation will cost you under 20,000yen, and you should be able to get an ETC card if you can get a Japanese credit card. You can also hire a card, but the deposit is massive. If you're intending to drive on the highway, one of these is a must.

Miss anything? Let me know in the comments.

Worksheet Sunday: Japanese First Grade JHS (11/12yo) Syllabus (New Crown)

This is simply a typed up list of the vocab and important phrases taught in the first volume of New Crown. It's useful to have as a reference of what is learned when when designing worksheets/bingo. There's nothing worse than slipping in a load of words students don't know yet and complicating a simple activity.

It may also be interesting for those of you who want a better idea of the form teaching English takes in Japan.

As usual, click here to view in Google Docs, but you'll want to save a copy.

Accommodation: Sleeping in Internet Cafes

The Japanese are known for sleeping in unconventional places, and now you can be too!

Another (see my posts on Love Hotels, Capsule Hotels, Hostels and Couch Surfing) low budget accommodation solution is what I call "wank-booths".

All around major cities you will see posters for what look like comfortable faux-leather chairs in front of a computer in a wooden box. That's exactly what they are, and you can rent them (or do away with the chair and just have a padded floor) for as long as you like. Prices range from 300yen for an hour to something like 1,500yen for 12 hours.


They're usually 24 hours, and weird as it may sound you can sleep in these places without any stigma. Several of my friends have done so for convenience. It's a lot easier than finding and checking into a hotel or hostel, and the price is much better.

Although technically an internet cafe, it's not uncommon to find them also called manga cafes and come with a large library of tankoban. Some places, however, may make you rent porn to qualify to stay. Avoid these ones.

The floor/chair is usually perfectly good enough for a fair night sleep, though if you have a problem with cigarette smoke you may be slightly uncomfortable. Also, if little groans from the cubicle next door affect you in a bad way maybe you should look for a hostel or capsule hotel. Having said that, last time I stayed in a business capsule there were more than a few groans in the night.

Other posts in this series:

• Love Hotels
• Sleeping in Internet Cafes
• Capsule Hotels
• Youth Hostels
• Couch Surfing
• Budget Hotels

Rice Cooker Buttons

One of Japan's little cooking miracles--if you like rice--is the rice cooker. It's a fire-and-forget solution to the staple food of Asia: No more waiting for water to boil on the stovetop. No more setting timers to make sure your rice doesn't under- or over-cook. No more burnt rice stuck to the bottom of the pot or trails of white rice-residue to scrub off the side of your pot and off of your range.

If you live in Japan, you probably already have a rice cooker. And maybe the person you inherited the cooker from already told you which button to push to "make it go." But, have you ever wondered what those other three buttons on the cooker do? Today we'll learn how to use your rice cooker, and along the way, you might find out there's more functionality, even in little budget cookers, than you thought:

Although the cooker I chose to display here may not look like yours, chances are the buttons are the same. Rice cookers really only have about 4 or 5 basic buttons. (Although rice connoisseurs always have the options of more functions and greater price.)

So, what to these all do?

1. 炊飯 (suihan): The genesis of the word 炊飯器 (suihan ki), or "Rice Cooker." Everyone seems to remember that word, but this shorter and very similar word gets left in the dark. It just means "cook rice." Once you have measured your ingredients, sealed the lid, and are happy with your settings, you push this button to make it happen. In most designs, it's a red button with a red light.
2. 保温 (ho'on): This button means "hold temperature." It is the mode that automatically engages when the rice is finished cooking. It keeps the rice hot if there is any leftover in the pot. In most designs, it has a yellow light. If the 保温 button is engaged, and you push it again, it turns the 保温 function back off. That's what 取消 (torikeshi), seen in this particular picture, means: "cancel" or "turn off."
3. メニュー (menu): Plenty of foreigners can easily read this button. But many don't know what it does. Well, in this picture, see all those little words written around the LCD display? (In this picture: the little words framing the clock digits "18:31.") Those are different cook settings for your rice cooker. And this is where different brands and grades of rice cookers really start to differ. Some of the most common settings are:
1. 白米 (hakumai): This is the default setting and the one most people cook with. It's for the normal white rice you buy in a bag at a Japanese supermarket and rinse once or twice before cooking. The rice takes about 30 or 40 minutes to cook and turns out fluffy and sticky, just how Japanese people like it.
2. 早炊き (haya daki), or on some models, 倍速 (baisoku): This is the "fast cook" setting. You can use it to make rice in about 20 or 25 minutes. The tradeoff is that the rice turns out a little harder than the default setting. (But, you may prefer harder rice, shocked as some Japanese may be to hear it.)
3. 無洗米 (musenmai): This setting is for pre-washed rice, which is sold at grocery stores. The cook cycle is slightly different to better fluff this type of rice. (But, it's actually similar enough to the default that you can use that instead.)
4. 炊き込み (takikomi): This setting is for rice mixed with other ingredients. Actually, if you are getting sick of plain white rice, I'd recommend checking out some takikomi gohan recipes. There are hundreds of recipes online, or it is easy to make your own: Just experiment with mincing vegetables like carrots and onions, then adding them to the rice cooker along with some soy sauce or other flavoring. (If your cooker doesn't have a 炊き込み button, here's a big secret the premium rice cooker manufacturers don't want to let out: You can just cook on the default 白米 setting.)
5. お粥 / おかゆ (okayu): This is like rice porridge and is the Japanese equivalent to "chicken soup;" sick Japanese kids at home from school get a bowl of this for lunch. Be careful: The water-to-rice ratio is different for making okayu; it should be marked out on the teflon coated pot that goes inside your cooker. A cooker that can normally handle 3 "cups" of rice can usually only fit one or two of okayu.
6. 玄米 (genmai): This is the Japanese word for unbleached Japanese rice. Genmai takes extra time to cook, so this setting is actually necessary to make a good bowl of genmai. You can also use this setting for wild rice or Western brown rices.
4. 予約 (yoyaku): This is for scheduling rice to cook in the future. You can wash a cup of rice and put it in the cooker, then set the timer so the rice is done when you wake up in the morning or get home from work. Make sure that the clock on your cooker is set to the right time. If you don't have plus or minus buttons like the cooker in this picture, then one of the other buttons will temporarily act as a clock control when you are in 予約 mode.

Some other tips to keep in mind when dealing with Japanese rice cookers are that rice in Japan is measured using a traditional unit system: One "cup" of rice in a rice cooker is actually 一合 (ichi gou), which is equivalent to about 180ml of dry rice. It is not the same as 一カップ (ichi kappu), "One cup." Learn more about Japanese cooking measurements here.

Also, a fair number of Japanese enthusiasts experiment with cooking things other than rice inside modern rice cookers. For example, it is perfectly possible to make (thick) pancakes and birthday cakes within a rice cooker using the proper recipe.

Registering your Hanko/Inkan

Got a gaijin card? Got a hanko?

That's nice, but technically to use your hanko for official things it needs to be officially registered with the local authorities. In practice you only need to prove this for a car or a house. Anyway, here's how you get it set up:



1. Get your full name written in kanji.
This is just for paperwork. What is on your hanko really doesn't matter. Note that you don't need to match the sounds or meanings when doing this. If time is not an issue then feel free to play around and find something you like, as it will be your "official" name in Japan. But you can honestly choose to be called Jason Donnovan if you want. My surname is Beverley, which I wrote as the kanji for 'bear' and 'valley', but no-one who registered it knew or cared about that.

The hanko can represent either your first or last name. In fact, as my hanko is my first name split into two kanji, the guy at the office asked if I just wanted to use one kanji as my first name and consider the other my surname to save time.

NB: Just to be clear, you do not need to get a new hanko if you already have one.

2. Get your employer to stamp a letter confirming that your hanko represents your new full name.

3. Take the letter, your hanko and your gaijin card to the local government office. It shouldn't take longer than about 20 minutes for you to fill out two forms with your name and address, and for them to photocopy everything. You then pay 300yen for registering your hanko and 300yen for the certificate. You will be given a card with the electronic data for your registration so that next time you need one of these certificates you can just present that.

By the way, your registered inkan is called your 実印 (jitsuin). If this gets stolen, it is equivalent to identity theft in the West and you need to report it to the city hall where you registered it to immediately. A 実印 is only used for large property transactions (cars, homes), both buying and selling. You'd need a 実印 when you bought a car under your name as well as when you sold the car to someone else and performed a 名義変更 (meigi henkou, change of registered name) so they were the new official owner of the car. A 実印 is also used when writing up wills and dividing up estates. And, it is needed when you take out a major loan, like for a house.

On the other hand, a lot of other legal documents do not require a 実印. Your inkan does not need to be registered with your city in order to create a bank account or sign on an apartment. (As far as I know), the inkan needed to register a marriage or divorce also does not need to be registered.

(By the way, if you sign on an apartment that requires a guarantor, and your guarantor is not there in person to sign with you, it may be necessary for the guarantor to provide his or her 実印 and 登録証明書 to the real estate agent.)

WS: "Anything OK" Escape-Method #1: Typhoon

"Today we have a lesson. Anything OK" or "Please some game" are the terrifying bane of my life. The good news is that I have a solution. Well, at least for second and third grade JHS.

It's simple enough to play without any Japanese and can be made to fit almost any grammar point/s or revision topic. The best part is that you can use it multiple times with the same class. In fact, some of my classes have even requested it.

It's "The Typhoon Game"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


For this activity you need at least one dice.

Create a stack of cards. Any number above about 30 is okay. 40+ is best. What is on each card is dependant on what grammar you're teaching.

For example, my revision cards for the start of second grade have three words/items on each card (usually a subject, verb and object), and I want them to practice the past tense of verbs. So, for the card which has "Akira" "duck" and "see" I want them to make a sentence like "Akira saw a duck". Make cards using all the verbs from the previous year/s.

Also make as many typhoon cards (just a card with a typhoon drawn on it) as you want and shuffle them into your pack of cards. I'd make about 10 for a deck of 30, but more can be very funny. Less cards will be less tense.



Lesson

1. Make groups (2-6 students). One student comes and asks for "One card please", then takes the it to their group. Together they must come up with the best sentence they can.
2. One student returns to me and tells me their sentence. If it is OK I let them roll one dice, if it is more complicated I let them roll two (or just double the score on one) or more. So a sentence like "Akira saw a duck" will get one, and "Akira saw a duck and ate a duck, it was delicious" will be awarded two+. If they make a mistake, send them back to their group to think about it.
3. Write the group's number (or name) on the blackboard. When the student rolls the dice, the numbers equal points. So rolling a six is six points. Those points are used to draw houses next to the team name. Get the students to do this using this template:

Hopefully it's clear that one house is made up of nine lines. Each line is a point, so nine points is one house. The aim is to make as many houses as possible for your team.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttt, here's where the typhoon comes in.

If a student pulls a typhoon card, he/she must erase ALL his/her group's houses and start again. Daaaaaaaahhmm!

______________


More

• Play this for as long as you want. I'd say minimum 15-20mins, maximum all lesson.
• There are loads of ways to modify this. You can have just one word on the card for more creative classes etc, etc.
• One great way to add variety for repeat classes is to add a few "FLOOD ATTACK CARDS". Drawing one of these allows the group to wipe out all of any other group's houses. Nice.
• One of the great things about this game is that although it takes a few minutes to explain the first time around, after that you can play it again with very little introduction.
• Also see "Ultra Snail Salt Chopstick Attack" for an alternative version. 

How Much Will I Get Paid Teaching English in Japan?

Good to read and compare to this entry about living costs.

Japan is reportedly the second highest paying country for English teachers (just behind Brunei).

And in reality, if you can find a job at all at the moment, you can expect to get Japan's standard (and pretty good) starting wages. However, that's a full time position - one which is becoming rarer by the minute.

A future blog will address the requirements for teaching in Japan (usually only a degree in any subject), and another already published one gives further tips on finding a job, but for now let's take a look at what the current ALT employment situation is in regards to MONEY.

• Standard wage is around 250,000yen per month (1900GBP/3100USD at the time of writing, but you will need to check it for a realistic figure).You will get this amount, or just above, if you are employed on a full time contract with a company such as Interac, Westgate, AEON, Berlitz or any of the other big-hitters or private schools. Many conversation schools, for example Gaba, will also offer overtime/experience incentives in their pay packets.
  
• The JET program is run in partnership with the Japanese government and will pay a little extra - up around 300,000. This applies to all the positions they offer - SEA, CIR etc.
  
• Employment with a local government is very desireable and will pay about the same or a little more than the JET program. These jobs are hard to come by, however, and you will probably face some tough competition. Expect to only find these jobs if already in Japan and/or with good Japanese.
  
• Many schools advertise online for English teachers. But remember that a lot of the part-time or pay-by-hour options may lack security or may not earn a liveable wage if you're going solo. Here are some links to investigate by yourself:
• findjobsinjapan.com
• jobs.gaijinpot.com
• jobs.japantimes.com
• careercross.com
• jobsinjapan.com
• daijob.com

All of these sites also have listings for other types of jobs, so if you have any other skill you may want to consult those listings for posts with your level of Japanese (there are several that require no Japanese, such as some IT work).

So there you have it - use the links in this post to find yourself a wonderful job and then come back to this site and make a generous donatation!

If you have any hints on finding jobs then let us know in the comments below.

Cost of Living/Utility Costs in Japan

When you move somewhere to live and work, there are two things you need to know to get you started: how much you'll get paid (<-- teaching English), and what the living costs are.

We'll go over basic food costs another time - so today let's look at the cost of running a house/apartment.

Here are my typical bills for the month. More details below.

Where appropriate, blue numbers are summer, red represent winter. Numbers are, of course, yen.


Basics


Two people sharing an old 3DK house:

• Electricity: 2-3,000 3,500-4,000
• Gas: 5-7,000 10,000
• Water: 3-3,500
  
  = 10,000-13,500 16,500

One person in a modern one-room Leo Palace apartment:

• Electricity: 2,500 3,500
• Gas: 4,000 8,000
• Water: 2,500
  
  = 9,000 14,000
  
  
• Rent: 40-70,000++ depending on location

You will notice in the figures above that electricty doesn't vary muct between a house and an apartment, and in general is pretty low. This may be different in a big city/very modern apartment where it's growing in popularity to have the "gas" facilties (stove, water heating) electrically powered.

Gas is the main player in most Japanese homes, as can be seen in the costs. The massive difference between summer and winter comes from the heating of the water in the freezing environment. Expect considerably more if you like to take baths.

There are two types of gas, and the price can vary quite a lot between them. However you don't get to choose which type you have - it depends on your location and the infrastructure of your city.

You may also want to consider the cost of recycling/disposing of your rubbish. We have a separate article covering the sorting and associated costs of recycling here.

Misc bills

• Internet: 6,720 (cheaper options available)
• Mobile phone: 2,000 +
• School Lunch: 5,000 (varies slightly)
• Car Insurance: 7-8,000 (slightly cheaper and vastly more expensive options out there)

One thing to bear in mind is that there is no central-heating or double-glazing system in Japan (though I have heard rumours of both in Hokkaido). For this reason you will spend a bit of money on 灯油 (touyu) - kerosene to use with your heater (unless you have a modern apartment which is well insulated/small enough to get-by with just an electric one/kotatsu). It will vary person to person, but a budget of 2,000-6,000yen a month should keep you covered for the winter.


Other things you might want:

• Landline phone - your best bet here is to get a VoIP phoneline packaged with your internet. It's only a few hundred extra yen and saves the 35,000 installation fee for a dedicated landline. Or a Skype number.
• English newspaper: 2,650
• TV licence: 15,490pa (slightly less on direct debit, and you may be interested to know that there is no fine for non-payment)
• Satelite TV: 25,520pa

 Did I miss anything? Any comments? Stick them in the box below.

The 5 Most Common (English Teaching) Gaijin Stereotypes in Japan

Japan has very few foreign residents compared to many Western countries. There are quite a few Korean, Chinese and Filipino citizens, but a lot of them pass undetected even by the Japanese. In fact, if you look even slightly Asian expect to be treated like you were born and raised here (but the truth will out!). If, however, you look like the rest of us expect a mixture of over- and under-estimation by the people you meet.

I'll write a separate post for the language barrier and embarrassing convenience store moments. For now, let's start with the types of people who you can expect to meet teaching in Japan.

Beware: sense of humour is required:

1. You were expecting it, and here it is: Japanophiles by the bucket load. You can spot these "people" by their annoying whiney voices and piercing Japanese over-familiarities. Their shamelessly sickly-sweet jerkoff of a personality SUCKS. They actually aspire to be otaku.

But here's possibly the worst part: be prepared for the jaw-dropping ability for the males to actually physically attract Japanese females! If you were on the fence about the existence of God this will make you finally turn away: the ideal man in Japan is fair-haired, tall, pale and very skinny. Shudder...

Personality and geekiness don't seem to register, or are just seen as cute. Female gaijin, on the other hand, may not be so lucky. I have no idea why, but apparently only Japanese women are completely blind when it comes to sexual attraction.

Apart from their awful personalities, another problem with these people is their lack of teaching ability. Their number-one interest is anime and manga, and their insistence on making lessons revolve around that is a serious fault.

Most of their non-anime time is spent doing 100% Japanese things, like awkwardly dressing up in kimonos, buying swords and playing with puppets. They will suck up Japanese friends like an industrial hoover, yet probably won't say hello to you fellow gaijin in the street. What's that about?

2. The academic fella. Usually a guy, this teacher has high hopes of mastering Japanese and going back home to study it further "or something". There are a fair few of these but their existence is a natural progression from coming out here, and perfectly understandable.

In fact it would be hard to have any problem with them at all if it weren't for their dislike of teaching. Teaching isn't easy to do well. Anyone can sloth through it and earn the money, but making yourself useful and genuinely helping people learn is your job, and learning Japanese isn't. The few that can straddle the two camps deserve a lot of respect and are often very nice people too.

3. Travel C***s. If you've ever been backpacking you will know all about these people (unless you are one). They think of themselves as new-age hippies of the world, the presumption of which is probably worse than if it were actually true. Their "random" humour is little more than irritating, and their lack of originality or personality is a nasty downer. Thankfully their numbers are relatively low. Bear a resemblance to:

4. Party boy/girl. Takes the worst parts of 2 and 3 and adds a total disinterest in anything cultural or language related. They come to the big cities for the big monies and the female attention. They drink, they party, they score and they piss all over Japanese customs and sensibilities. They beat a horrible path through Japan leaving a slug-trail of stolen glasses, piss stains and puke, making a bad name for the rest of us foreigners. Selfish bastards is what they are.

5. One more, pretty sad, one is the Lonely Guy With A Beard. He clearly has some emotional problems and has had his heart broken one too many times. He moved to Japan to rediscover a reason for living, and despite looking like he was pulled out of an impounded VW Beatle this morning he has somehow managed to acquire a Japanese wife (although to be honest she's not much of a looker). He's harmless but makes you feel miserable by not having much to talk about and invoking harrowing images of how you could look in 10-20 years time.


.....and now you can identify 80% of Western foreign residents teaching English in Japan! But don't let that put you off too much. The other 20% are people who we might condescend to call "normal". People who want to see a different culture, or just want to teach and have chosen to do it somewhere which is not home. I've met some good friends here (and I, of course, am shockingly amazing), so don't be too scared.

And of course there are 120 million Japanese people just waiting to be your friend. Except most of them presume you're a dumbass who can't use chopsticks or eat raw fish, let alone speak any Japanese. But don't let that put you off either, most people anywhere are idiots... right?

ANYWAY, come one, come all! Just make sure you find the right job first!