How to Take a Poop in Japan (Kids' version)

...here are some videos teaching you all about the wonders of taking a poo in a grown-up toilet.

For adults having trouble, don't forget to check out our "How to Take a Crap in Japan" post.

Wiping troubles, too? AccessJ's got you covered...

How to use a toilet for wees and poos

How to get all that pesky poo off your bum

Alternative to the first video, featuring a kangaroo...

WS: Eigo Noto: When is your birthday 3

Previously we have learned the days of the months and played some fun games to ensure the students can remember them, and in the last lesson we introduced the question "when is your birthday?".

This lesson will focus again on this question and teach how to answer it properly.



Greeting - Hello. How are you? What month is it now?

Chant - The last time we will sing the months of the year chant (from the CD). 

Eraser game - The 'eraser game' is basically a listening game. The students should be in pairs facing each other and each pair should have one eraser on the floor/desk between them. Hands should be on heads, and the students listen for the 'Key word'.

When they hear the 'Key word' they should grab the eraser, the first student to do so, is the winner.

In this case, after telling the students what the key word is, I get the students to start each round by asking me "when is your birthday?" I then say months at random until I say the key word and the students grab the eraser.


My Birthday is in ... chant - Here I teach the students to use 'in' when talking about when their birthday is. They should have picked up on this when playing the eraser game and listening to my answers.

Fruit basket - Students will know this game, and as soon as you say "fruit basket" students will start arranging their chairs into a circle.

• All students sit down except one in the middle (or you for the first round).
• There is one too few chairs for everyone to sit. 
• I/we all say "When is your birthday?" and the student in the middle replies 'my birthday is in ......' 
• I let students choose any months, and after a few rounds let them choose up to 3 months at once.
• The students whose REAL birthdays are in the mentioned month should stand up and change seats with someone else. 
• The student without a chair becomes the 'oni' or devil in the middle. 
• If the 'oni' says "fruit basket" all students change seats.

Interview activity - Using page 21 in the textbook (that`s right, using the textbook!!!) students should interview their friends to find out when their birthdays are, and write down their names.

Finish - goodbye.

Mobile Phone Guide #7: Multilingual phones

Reading all the Japanese characters on a mobile phone menu can be challenging for even the most seasoned of Japanese speakers. But fear not, as many Japanese phones often come with the ability to switch between Japanese and English menus. 



These phones are usually labeled as “bilingual” (バイリンガル if you are looking for the katakana) on the catalog listing and clerks will be able to easily point out which phones can function in English. However, keep in mind that some advanced features may only be available in Japanese (including pre-loaded applications) and mobile internet portals are almost always Japanese only. Also, as a general rule, billing and billing websites are usually only available in Japanese.

If your first language isn’t English and you don’t feel totally comfortable in it or Japanese then you might be out of luck. However, the iPhone as well as some handsets utilizing Google’s Android operating system can utilize a multitude of languages. 


As manufacturers can chose what features to use under Android, it is entirely possible that some smart phones lack multi-lingual capabilities (although in the authors experience most seem to have English and Japanese). 


Softbank has offered a traditional phone with Korean input but that seems to be discontinued.

Our next and final article will cover Japanese "rent-a-phones" and roaming for those of your who are interested in a less complex, short-term solution to your communication woes. 

Other posts in this series:

Part #1: The Basics

Part #2: Important Paperwork

Part #3: Pre-Paid Phones
Part #4: Post-Paid Phones 
Part #5: Paying Your Bills

Part #6: Mobile E-mail Guide

Part #7: Multi-Lingual Phones

Part #8: Renting and Roaming

How Japanese Addresses Work

Today I StumbledUpon a video so clear and accurate that there was nothing I could do but post it, unedited, on AccessJ. Many thanks to Derek Sivers for this informative and entertaining creation.

JLPT Past Test Downloads

For virtually every test (apart from medical, I guess), the best way to success is a lot of exam-condition practice.

The same applies for the JLPT, and not only can you buy past papers (see below), but you can also download them from various websites.

Let's find out where!!!!

Because of its 100% Japanese nature, the JLPT is the same for everyone taking it regardless of their native tongue. That's convenient for our purposes, and the main site people seem to go to for past tests is actually in Chinese. Navigating can be a little tricky, but their selection of tests is good. (See below for some other good sites)

The page houses a collection of other papers, plus study resources. It seems like they're trying to charge for newest papers. I can't comment on the legitimacy of the site, so tread carefully if you want to buy.

The resources are of little use in Chinese, but there are some practice questions, too.

In order to simplify matters, here are some direct links to some (free) past test papers. You can try to find more by exploring the site. It's possible the pages might move, in which case you'll have to navigate the page to find their new location.

JLPT level 1 (N1) 2010 July past test
JLPT level 1 (N1) 2009 September past test
JLPT level 1 (N1) 2009 July past test
JLPT level 1 (N1) 2007 past test
JLPT level 1 (N1) 2006 past test

JLPT level 2 (N2) 2010 July past test
JLPT level 2 (N2) 2007 past test
JLPT level 2 (N2) 2006 past test

JLPT level 3 (N4) 2004 past test
JLPT level 3 (N4) 2005 past test
JLPT level 3 (N4) 2006 past test
JLPT level 3 (N4) 2007 past test

JLPT level 4 (N5) 2004 past test
JLPT level 4 (N5) 2005 past test
JLPT level 4 (N5) 2006 past test
JLPT level 4 (N5) 2007 past test

There are also answers, and the site is updated quickly enough for you to check your score a couple of days after the test (at the latest).

Alternatives
Check out this site (also Chinese) which has much better quality scans of all the tests for all levels from 1991-2005. The trouble is, the site is a bit temperamental. If you keep trying every couple of minutes you can download your test, but don't be surprised if you get errors a few times. Weird.

You can also find a large collection of typed-up versions at this site.

Bear in mind that these pages can come and go, as you aren't supposed to take the papers out of the test sites: JLPT gets angry. They may force the sites to shut down.


NB: sometimes the scan quality of these tests is not that great. On fairly rare occasions it can be frustrating and almost unreadable.

In such cases you may just want to go ahead and...

Buy published past tests
JAAS sometimes publishes past papers. Here are some links:
Amazon US
Amazon UK

Try not to get confused and buy what is known as the JLPT Guide Book. It looks like a test, and acts like one, but is much shorter. It's designed as an entry guide to see if you are ready for typical grade N4 and N5 level questions.

You can buy that here: Amazon America

Donate Money to Japanese Save the Children

I'm doing a series of long-distance runs in Japan this year to raise money for child victims of the tsunami/earthquake.

You know it's the right thing to do, so I won't bore you with a sob-story.

Please go to my page and donate some cash.

Dom is fundraising for GlobalGiving

Q&A: Osaka Nampa Master

Nampa is the Japanese term for guys picking up on girls in public locations, usually with the sole aim of getting them into bed. A whole subculture has sprung up around the word, and akin to titles like "How to Talk to Women" and "How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 6.7 Seconds" in English bookstores and across English webpages, "How to Nampa" is a term probably every magazine with a 20-something male target audience in Japan has published articles about.


In today's Q&A, we read up on the adventures of one particular Nampa artist, "Shimada," in the Osaka area, who is perhaps a bit past his prime at 30-odd years old but still updates his blogs with specific Nampa success stories in various places around the country. The basic routine seems to be: Truck out to somewhere for an afternoon, invite women out on the street to go for a drink, then escort whomever accepted the bait to a love hotel, leaving early enough to catch the last train home.

Ouch. That's right. He doesn't even want to wake up next to her.

Anyway, let's take a look at some of the tricks of the trade!

---

So there I am, in a cheap izakaya.
The girl I'm scoping is like this:

Age: 21
Blood Type: B
Occupation: Medical Secretary
Name: "Saori"

I sidle up to her and say, "So, this is the place to be, huh?"
She laughs at me.
The izakaya we're in is famous in Osaka for being dirt-cheap.
It's got a name like something-"factory."

Anyway, so we toast with beers, then I introduce myself and make some empty small talk.
We talk about her job...
Saori apparently doesn't want to work at all.
She thinks work is a waste of her life, so I tell her what's up.

There's nothing not worth doing in this whole world.
You only make a decision that something's worthless.
A person's wisdom is in how they find meaning in and ascribe value to the things they do.

I know I have her.

I'm completely full of myself.
'Cause this is first-rate stuff, right?
Even though I, Shimada, am a fourth-rate human being.

Anyway, I'm already pretty drunk.
I've been drinking since I started scoping chicks in the afternoon.

Next we talk about love...
...and I shut her down on that topic as fast I can.

Next we talk about dirty stuff...
...and I keep that going as long as I can.

By the time we know it, it's 9 p.m.
By my CVP Analysis, I arrive at a conclusion.

(What's a CVP Analysis?
C = Shimada
V = Victory
P = Project
It's what I call analyzing how much a chick digs me, and coming up with an action plan for the night by catching the subtle changes in her mood.)

So I say to her, "Let's make the after-party a 'Snack Party'!"

(What's a "Snack Party"?
You buy a bunch of cookies and potato chips at a convenience store then take her to a love hotel to eat them.)

Saori loves snacks.
So she's totally into the idea.

We leave the izakaya and buy some stuff at the nearest convenience store.

"Where're we gonna have the party?" she asks.

"At karaoke," I tell her.

"We can take snacks into a karaoke room?" she asks.

I say, "Oh, you're right... How about we have it at my summer house then?"

"Where is it?" she looks at me.

"Follow me!"

And we're off.
We hold hands all the way to the love hotel.

I'm stoked.
There have been so many stupid things happening since this year started.
So, finally... Finally...

But!
Turns out it's not so easy.

When we get in front of the "summer house," Saori, as expected, gets cold feet and starts whining.
(What a pain.)

"What's the matter?" I ask her. "You aren't thinking of something naughty, are you? Saori, you're such a terrible girl."

I remember saying something like...

"I hear this place is modeled on a storehouse in a town on the edge of the Mediterranean, and I've wanted to see it myself once." (We'd talked about how we're both interested in the Roman Empire at the izakaya. I'm not really, though.)

And I remember saying something like...

"This isn't even a hotel! It's a party space!"

Then finally I swore, "I won't do anything," and we pinky promised on it, and we went inside.

(What's a pinky promise?
It's some magic charm. You cross pinkies on a promise and if you break the promise you have to eat a thousand needles. Except, apparently if you break the promise nothing bad actually happens...)

By now it's already 9:30!
I'm almost out of time!

The second we're inside the "party space," I've got my hands all over her.
She protests, but I keep at it and suddenly there's this dramatic change in her.
I mean, wow.
So things get going, and the snacks we bought sit there unopened.

Then it's past 10, and time for the party to end.
I make a dash for the subway, barely making it home by 11.

It's an hour past my curfew, but I'm met at home with a kind smile.
...which is scarier than the old lady getting mad at me.

Her retaliation comes the next day at dinner.
All that's on my plate is a pile of veggies, while she enjoys homemade fried chicken.

WS: Eigo Noto 2: When is your birthday 2

This lesson carries on from my previous post last week. This lesson reviews the months of the year and introduces the question "When is your birthday".

In the next lesson we will look more at answering using "It is in November" and "it is December 4th".

Greeting - Hello, How are you, What month is it?

Chant - Same as last week using the Eigo Noto CD. The students should remember it, and be able to chant along after a few tries.

Ladder game - This is one of my favorite games, and one I actually used to play when I was a child! I have adapted it to use in my elementary classrooms and now frequently get asked to play it! However, it is a little difficult to explain...

1. Split the class into two teams.

2. Within each team put the students into pairs. (They MUST have a pair, use the teacher if numbers don't work out, failing that I have used a broom as a student in the past...).

Fig 1

3. I set up one team first, manhandling the children, and then get the other team to copy them.
The first pair should sit, with their feet touching each other, legs out straight.
The next pair should sit beside them in the same position. See fig.1

4. Give each pair a name, in this case, a month. Pair 1 in team 1 should have the same name as Pair 1 in team 2.
Should you have uneven teams, one pair from one team should have 2 names.

5. The fun bit! You call a month. The pair, from both teams, whose month is called stands up and runs up the ladder (towards the back of the class). After the final 'rung' the student on the left runs left, and the student on the right, runs right. They run around the outside of the ladder and then run back up the ladder to their original place. See Fig.2.

Fig. 2

So pair 1 would run up the ladder and around, and sit down at the front again. The final pair would run around, all the way up and then sit down.

The team with the first pair sitting down, gets one point.



Get it? Its a little complicated, but I feel it is well worth playing! My students have a lot of fun with it!

N.B Hands should be kept on laps, not behind as shown in the diagrams. Otherwise fingers can get stamped on.

Also check the room before playing for sharp edges, I once played this and students started slamming into a wall at one end of the room to slow themselves down, it was fine until one student found the nail which was sticking out of the wall and stabbed himself in the hand (he still won that round).

Also you may want to take shoes off, but I find slippery socks are more dangerous than squashed fingers!

When is your birthday? - after such an active game some quite time is required!

I start by chanting 'When is your birthday?' and get the students to repeat. Then I say ask 'When is your birthday?' and say a month, those students whose birthday is that month raise their hands, we then count how many.

Finish - Hi-fives, and requests to play the ladder game the next week...

Short-Term Volunteer Opportunity in Tohoku

Japan needs you.

I blogged the other day about a competition to visit all 47 prefectures in Japan in 100 days and help with tsunami cleanup.

Just in case you don't win that, here's another chance to visit/help out.

Many friends say they want to visit Japan, but they feel guilty about having fun when people in the North are suffering so badly.

At the same time, it is difficult for those living outside of Japan, and those of us who don't speak good Japanese, to arrange any kind of volunteering.

Luckily, Inside Japan Tours can help. They usually offer regular touristic tours of Japan, but in light of recent events and requests for help they have designed a volunteering trip.

The Deal

• A 4 day trip to Tohoku in collaboration with a voluntary organisation currently working out there. 
• Includes transport from Tokyo, meals, accommodation, equipment and the help of an English translator throughout.
• Will assist with cleaning tasks, restoring houses and schools and removing rubble from roads, parks and rice paddies.
  
  
• Start dates are currently Thursday 18th August and Thursday 1st September.
• And trips cost 450GBP per person, not including flights.

So if you can or will be here in Japan, here's a chance to do your bit.
Check out the website.

Those of you living out here with more time to organise might want to try PeaceBoat, who will accommodate you free of charge for week-long volunteering trips.

Japan Matsuri Volunteers

Need a Japan fix? In London this September? Want to get involved in the action?

Japan Matsuri is looking for volunteers for it`s third annual event. Held in the heart of London.

If you are homesick for Japan, or missing the wonderful festivals then look no further. This is designed to feel like a typical Japanese festival: dancing, music, food and shows.

Read below for more information.


Period: From NOW until Sunday September 19th
Venue: London
Language Skill required: English or Japanese (depending on the roles)

Volunteers can gain:

• No salary :(
• Certificate/Reference upon request
• The chance to see behind the scenes of a Japan related event attracting tens of thousands of visitors. 

Roles
 A: Administrative roles:

• A1: Liaising with Stage Performers
• A2: Liaising with Participants Groups/Schools in Activities
• A3: Liaising with Stall
• A4: Liaising with Media
• A5: Web
• A6: Others

B: Art related roles（☆Urgently Needed☆ suitable for Summer Internship and portfolio）:

• B1: Decoration of the event site (the County Hall)
• B2: Design of event brochures and posters
• B3: Fabrication of Mikoshi (portable shrine), Chochin (lanterns) and others
• B4: Others

C: Infrastructure related roles (* mainly need to work on 18/09):

• C1: Electrical wiring
• C2: Health & Safety, First Aid, nurses/doctors
• C3: Patrol (traffic control, security stewards, parking area, wastes etc.)
• C4: Installation / clearing
• C5: Others

Dates
Japan Matsuri is looking for people for the following time frames.

• On a weekly/bi-weekly basis (from now)
• Available from September 11th
• Available on the day of the event.

 If you want to find out more information you can visit Japan Matsuri here, or for more information about volunteering go here. Or email your CV, along with a choice of position (from those above) and the times you are available to volunteer (at) japanmatsuri.com

Mobile Phone Guide #6: Mobile e-mail

The first thing that most people notice about Japanese mobiles is how people use them more as e-mail devices and mini-web browsers than actual phones. Mobile phone mail (携帯メール keitai meru, or simply meru) has been a staple of the Japanese phone market long before the advent of BlackBerries and iPhones. While having a mail address on your phone may seem like a silly novelty, it is actually petty handy for directly contacting people all over the world. 

In today’s installment of our mobile phone super-guide we'll look at Japanese mobile-phone mail.

Users with PCs can email mobiles and vice-versa, hence the popularity. 

Mobile email popularity could also be attributed to the well above-average costs of phonecalls. So don’t count on your new-found friends to call you regularly for chit-chats. 


Almost every modern e-mail enabled phone comes with a full list of still and animated e-moji or emoticons, some of which are so cute that they will make your eyes bleed while others are just odd, like Softbank’s smiling poop. Even for relatively serious business e-mails, don’t be surprised to find your colleges inserting cute little simile faces and bowing man animations. Phones often have a whole suite of decoration, colorings, and animations preloaded in the phone to make your e-mails extra super sparkly.


Even though you may be tempted to skip on the data-transfer part of your mobile phone plan, you may soon regret it when sending emails takes it's toll.

Picking a Mail and Exchanging Mail

When you sign up for a new contract, the staff will generally ask you to pick a unique mail name (although you can change this at will). Unlike phone numbers, you cannot carry e-mail addresses when switching companies.

It is not unusual for Japanese people to chose very, very long email names complete with numbers letters and smiley faces. Luckily you can avoid having to type these out as most phones come with an infrared port called seki gaisen (赤外線) that allow for phones to exchange data at short ranges. Look for a little black oval and matching it up with your partner’s oval. Luckily, this process is universal amongst all providers. However, if you are too cool for the regular keitai crowd and have an iPhone or smart phone then you may find yourself having to type everything.

SMS

As we touched on earlier, SMS never really caught on in Japan. Although most phones are theoretically capable of it, free in-country SMS is often limited to within the same network. However, as of July, 2011, a new inter-network messaging system has been introduced allowing for cross carrier SMS. Keep in mind that these SMS messages are not free. 

Most mobile phone companies have deals with overseas providers that allows you to send SMS overseas and receive them although often this costs a significant amount (100 yen and up) per message sent and, in some cases, for messages received.

More

• Japanese phones are what are known as “always on” or constantly checking the local network for mails, service updates, and so on. So if you do go over seas, it is best to turn off your data roaming lest you want to find an unusually large bill upon your return. 


• Also, be as cautious of spam as you would be anywhere else.

Provider	Service Name	Mail Suffix
NTT DoCoMo	iMode	@docomo.ne.jp
au	EZ Web	@ezweb.ne.jp
Softbank	Yahoo! Keitai	@softbank.ne.jp @i.softbank.jp (iPhone)
Willcom	N/A	@willcom.com
E Mobile	EM Net	@emnet.ne.jp

Table of Japanese cellphone email addresses.

Check back next week for our AccessJ feature on how to get multilingual phones in Japan.

Other posts in this series:

Part #1: The Basics

Part #2: Important Paperwork

Part #3: Pre-Paid Phones
Part #4: Post-Paid Phones 
Part #5: Paying Your Bills

Part #6: Mobile E-mail Guide

Part #7: Multi-Lingual Phones

Part #8: Renting and Roaming

Tsunami Photo Exhibition London July 22nd-24th

This Friday 22nd, sees a new photo exhibition opening at 'Olympia two' in London.

It has been four months since the Tsunami devastated towns in the Sendai area and one photographer, Christina Aiton, an Australian living in Shichigahama, has documented 14 families from the area and their lives in the aftermath.

"Yet I Still Dare to Hope" uses photography, narratives from survivors and features items from the tsunami hit area to show the reality of what the residents of Shichigahama are living through. At the same time the exhibition focuses on hope, as the community begins to rebuild their lives and attempt to move on.

When and Where
The exhibition starts this Friday  July 22nd and runs until the 24th.
At Olympia Two, Hammersmith Road, London W14 8UX


Visitors will be encouraged to leave messages of support for the families directly affected which will be passed onto them.  There is also the opportunity to donate money or buy things at the shop with the proceeds going to Shichigahama residents.

More information, including a map of how to get there, can be found at this site.